susu on Hoodstars

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Thursday, 17 April 2008

thank you Omari

late lastnight as i tried to put a rest to my feelings of nothingness...i go to check my last mails of the night, around 12:30 ive received a mail..had to be about a half page long..it was an old friend explaining their side of thought...explaining the misunderstandings, exspressing anger and forgiveness, exspressing concern yet love for all..."if you dont wanna ride with me anymore than you never was my true fan!" " i domnt wanna lose you or any of my biggest fans, i love you all!" " no more immaturity, no more negativity...its a new year, lets stay positive..youve been down for me for a while now" so he explains...i understood his concerns and anger and he understood mine, i can now put closure on such a painful situation and move forward..thank you for taking the time out to notice my pain , thank you for taking the time out for exspressing yours...i love you Omari..i trully just..love you :)

susu's free!

p.s. thanks to all my hoodstar friends that have rode this difficult road with me and helped me cope with the pain! you guys have good hearts and i hope your goals in life are reached ...and for those who laughed and made fun, i hope you get wut you need out of life as well to keep positive and stay ahead of the game because life cums at you fast, and wut goes around will cum back around to you 10x harder!

i thank you for reading!

Tuesday, 08 April 2008

apology accepted?

lately ive just been so uptight because an ex-friend and i have had a horrible falling out..we used to be really tight but then..boom he put me on the ignore..i supported everything hes done ever since he came into my life..he appreciated all the love i showed him..and vice versa..i think its safe to say that we appreciated eachothers heart.we never dated or anything just pretty tight pals..we made a promise to one another that we would never forget about eachother and all was well with the world...until that fateful day when he told me he was leaving and wont see me until a certain time came around... i hated it.. didnt want to hear it...i closed my eyes and took a deep breath and let him go...patiently awaiting his return just for him to finally cum home and to totally ignore me...didnt matter how loud i yelled he plugged his ears and closed his eyes...i tried to write letters just to see that the letters were all ripped into shreds on his doorstep...didnt even make it through the threshhold...so i came to the conclusion that while on his trip he did alot of soul searching and decided that our friendship wasnt worth his time anymore..so i rang his doorbell and when he opened the door i slapped him! only for him to grab my hands and push me to the ground i tried to get up and fight back then he called a couple of his friends over and they defended him and his action...tired and confused i hit him with a low blow and he blocked it and silently shut the door and locked it this time for good... i knew that he was out of my life for good..dazed and tired and i decided to give up on our friendship and walk away without my friend and without my dignity...still not understanding what went wrong i live out the rest of my days trying to piece my life back together...i have been damaged and so has he and for that i extend my apologies to him and although i know he will never get this memo at least ive done my part and now i must dust myself off and alow my wound to heal

Sunday, 06 April 2008

i wonder..

i wonder if he knows how much it hurts....
to be told i luv you just for it all to be taken back...
for him to tell you how much he cares and then its fade to black...
how much it hurts when he has insight of your inner beauty, your... big brown eyes, bright smile, your...shapely booty.. just for him to forget it all and have insight of the next cutie.
does he really know the pain he caused when he said he'll never forget
does he really understand the magnitude of luv i had for him when i tried to leave and he pulled me back in with the words " not yet" !
well im here to tell him, even though he may have seen it as an innocent flirt...he really has no idea how much it trully hurts

Luv can be a blessing... it can also be a weapon ...so be mindful of the ones you hand your
heart to because after they have captured it...if not handled with care... they can also break it
Susu